Don't Use Sir or Ma'am to Increase Your Confidence

March 11, 2014 • written by

Filipinos are naturally respectful to superiors.

Over time, some of us had over practiced this trait to the point that we tremble at the idea of speaking with someone we perceive as higher level than us.

When I was working in sales many colleagues were fearful when put in a situation where they have to speak to somebody in English.

They are also nervous when speaking to the purchasing manager or the CEO or owner of the company.

Filipinos are the only nationality I know who are still obedient to the class system.

People see themselves as lower level and as a result they see themselves inferior or unworthy to speak with people in a high position.

You see people referring to people as sir and ma’am a lot.

I think it’s overused.

Names in American Culture

In American culture people either go by Mr. Last name or ms. Last name or on a first-name basis.

They see other people as equals and you should too.

Isn’t it disrespectful to NOT use a title?

Yes the person you are referring to maybe the boss, a superior, a customer but you should serve or treat them appropriately, with respect.

Treat yourself with respect as well.

You see westerners marry local Filipina girls despite their low upbringing or income class without any because they see them as equals.

Locally it is rare for a graduate of a popular university or an upper middle class to marry someone who works as a domestic helper.

We’re too into the Game of Thrones-like high borne and low borne class division.

Because Americans value freedom, they are not paying attention to economic or class.

Do not act like a low borne because it negatively affects your confidence.

The dog follows the human.

When you act like a low borne and overuse sir and ma’am you train them to see you as a lower being.

As a result you are not credible to provide them with information, give them instructions and they will eventually ask to speak with your supervisor.

Consequences of using “Sir/Maam”

When you overuse sir and ma’am it tells us that you didn’t bother taking note of their name.

Sir and ma’am is a generic way to refer to the person.

I only use sir and ma’am if I forget a person’s name.

But I do everything I can to avoid doing it.

Or when I’m speaking to someone who’s name is extremely difficult to pronounce or remember or someone who’s named sounds like a curse word.

But the more appropriate way to approach a situation where you don’t know how to say a person’s name is by asking the persoon how to properly say their name if the name is uncommon.

Say their name out loud and ask if you are saying the name properly.

Don’t call people sir or ma’am.

When you apply for work or get hired in a call center using sir or ma’am won’t serve you well.

This is not Game of Thrones.

Might as well call them Milord and Milady.

I am praying for your success. God bless!

If you made it this far, you should introduce yourself.

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