Often in life, we want something but our brains refuse to cooperate. Instead if providing us with good ideas we get bad ideas and discouragement. 

With practice I was able to develop an almost photographic memory but it doesn’t work when I’m trying to remember the name of a person I just met who introduced himself or herself more than once and I need to say his or her name, when I’m in an exam or when I’m talking to my dad. 

We all have a conversation in our head. Some experts refer to it as “self talk”. I talk to myself. There’s a good chance that you do too. What are examples of things you tell yourself? I can’t read thoughts so I’ll give you examples of mine. 

Sometimes I say I can do it. 

Sometimes I say I can’t do it. 

I’m not good enough. 

My dad said I’m a failure. I’ll always be a loser. I’m the black sheep of the family. 

My mom always tells me. Umayos ka nga. Or. Ayusin mo buhay mo. In English it means. Fix yourself. Or. Get your life in order. As if something was wrong with me. 

Sometimes I remember how my ex left me. Maybe she realized I’m a loser and decided to cut her loses with me. Maybe I’ll just pull her down. I’m useless to her. Maybe I’m useless to anyone. 

I’m not financially successful yet. I’m almost thirty. When I was younger I said I’d be a millionaire by thirty and I’m only making my ends meet and buying a few luxuries every now and then. I’m a loser.

I’m not that good in school. I didn’t finish college. I’m a lower being compared to my peers. I can work really hard to accumulate advantages catch up but in the end they will all overtake me. I’m not from a rich family or anything. I’ll always have to settle for leftovers for the rest of my life. 

I haven’t gone to church for a few weeks. I haven’t prayed nor read the bible. God must really hate me now. 

At the gym I finished at the bottom. I’m such a weakling. How can I compete in events?

This goes on and on. 

John Maxwell taught me that “your attitude determines your altitude.” That means if you think you can then you can and if you think you can’t then you’re right about that. 

What you tell yourself everyday impacts how you see yourself. You believe what you tell yourself repeatedly. What you believe, according to Tony Robbins, determines how you behave. How you behave influence your habits and your habits form your destiny. 

I should stop here. 

Instead of going on with my lecture I want to ask you some questions that I want you to ask yourself. 

What do you believe about yourself?

Do you see yourself in a positive life?

Do you see yourself negatively?

Do you see yourself becoming successful? 

Do you see yourself failing?

Do people encourage you or put you down?

When you’re looking at a seemingly difficult task, do you tell yourself “I can do it!” or do you say “I might fail”?

Next. Ask yourself why that’s your answer? What is the reason you are positive or negative about your outlook.

My final question is…

Is that okay with you? I’m not saying your outlook is right or wrong. My question is are you okay with it? Do you want to change or stay the same?

I want to hear what you think. Send me a message. Leave a comment. I’ll share some more lessons. If you’re interested, I’ll teach you how to master your self talk.  

The post is written by Kevin Olega follow him on twitter.