I really have low self esteem growing up. I studied in a school that forced me to behave and punished me for fighting back. This resulted in me getting bullied and over time my people skills diminished.
I made myself stronger to fight bullies. My confidence did not return.
I learned skills that I feel would increase my confidence. When I found out that I couldn’t get a college degree because we don’t have money, I accumulated skills to compensate. I’m fact I made it a habit to overcompensate.
One of the things I realized as I matured is we compare ourselves to the perfect (and often fictional) version of people who have way more experience and skills than us.
Here’s what you don’t realize. You are awesome as you are at your current level. The fact that you are moving forward is a good indicator that you are on the right path.
For each skill or accomplishment that you have, there is someone who thinks that it’s awesome. Each of these things are assets that you can use to your advantage. Remember the saying “Count your blessings”? This is a good start. Then use each one to land you your dream job. I did this with mine. In my first job, I got hired because I promised to teach the recruiter basic martial arts techniques. I just took a few months worth of kick boxing class but I promised him I can teach him how to kick ass in 30 minutes.
Let’s say, you know how to cook. Is your cooking better than someone who doesn’t know how to cook? Damn right it is. How many people do you know personally doesn’t know how to cook? How many people do you know personally are master chef’s? Does this put you at the top 20% of the people that you know at this skill level? Sure it does.
Then let’s talk about transfer. Does the success principles in this skill apply to other skills? Examples include, I need patience in learning this skill. As soon as I learn this skill I can do it with my eyes closed (may be an exaggeration but you get the picture). Can I teach the skill to someone? If I teach this skill to someone this counts as a training ability right? Yes it does and it is exceptionally useful in sales, customer service and technical support.
When you start to do this, a part of you might say, you are lying. You are not lying. You have just learned to find the good in every situation and make the most of it. If someone tells you that they do, maybe the next question you should ask yourself is does this person have a history or track record in finding the good skills or traits in other people? If so then consider the advice. If not, then carry on with what you’re doing.
Present yourself in the best possible light instead of your version of a selfie in the dark. That isn’t honesty. And unless you can’t turn your bad traits into an advantage to make them want to hire you, that isn’t good advice. You’re applying for a job. Not displaying what you think are weaknesses in public.
Take an inventory of what you have.
List down your accomplishments.
List down all your skills.
List down everything nice anyone has ever said about you .
What you have is a long list of words on paper. Now at this point, I would like to point out that you now have a long lost of reasons why you are awesome. Select the ones that you can use for confidence boosting and the ones that can be used for your job application (what are your strengths and weakness and why should we hire you?).
As a result you can give it everything you got. You are now prepared with all the answers and stories then you can get hired.
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Successful people are willing to experience temporary discomfort and do difficult activities that unsuccessful people are NOT willing to do so that they are able to build the life and enjoy benefits that unsuccessfull people will never have.
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